THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Oh god it's open bar.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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