I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
