playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
