My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
