Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
