i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
