she was so not down for the gang bang
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
