i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
