I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
