Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
