but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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