Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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