"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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