Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
