Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Randomize
