I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Enjoy the penises
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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