she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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