I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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