By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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