tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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