Well douche your snatch and let's go!
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
