pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize