george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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