I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
