Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
