Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
