Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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