Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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