Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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