Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
