I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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