your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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