I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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