Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
