I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
