so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
