we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
