so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
