oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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