Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
