oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We are all done wearing pants today
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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