spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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