I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
