: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
