So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
