She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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