There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
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