I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
