My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just cut my nipple shaving
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
