yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
