I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
