I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
