Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
