my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
