I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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