If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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