yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
