Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
