I puked a lego.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
