HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
