New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
