East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
