last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
