Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
