Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize