My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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