His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
