You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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