Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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