My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
