I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
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