peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
How does one acquire holy water?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
