You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
