Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i believe in u and ur pee
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize