So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
