but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
