found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize