His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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