the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i dont even know how to be here
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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